new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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