Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
