I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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