just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
