id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
