Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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