I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
