youre lurking in front of me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
