that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
