Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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