It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
