Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The air taste purple.
Randomize
