It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
