I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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