Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is my gift to your gina
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
