his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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