Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
