i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
