apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
