As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
