mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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