i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
