Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please come you make the beer taste better
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
