This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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