Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
