I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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