I'll bet she douches with gravy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
