i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
