How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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