Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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