Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
