Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize