bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
