I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
