I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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