btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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