yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
