i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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