eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
