that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
