she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
