He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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