I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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