Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
