I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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