If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
