you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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