she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
