I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
