Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
