He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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